Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Another one written for a man. LOL. This one has a special place in my heart. I wrote this 3 years ago about someone who randomlly popped back into my life for a short time. He helped me to see that I was better than how I allowed people to treat me. He will always hold a special place in my heart for all that he showed me about myself. I don't think I would be where I am now without him. We haven't had any contact with each other in over 2 years, and while it makes me sad, I know it is for the best. Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you Romanticide.

One special night, a long long time ago... a young naive girl met the man of her dreams. A sort of Viking knight, oozing chivalry, romance, and other worldly perfection. He looked at her with eyes full of passion and she melted into them. He looked like what she imagined sin would be. Tall, dark, and brooding with clear blue eyes and a halo of black curls stretching down to his waist. Thick arms, massive hands, long legs... a proper giant, but he exuded such divinity that she half expected him to have huge white wings concealed under his clothes.

He made her feel like no other before him. Saying those words are sometimes viewed as cliche, but no truer words have ever been spoken. He didn't have to touch her for her to feel satisfied; he just had to speak. His accent rolled off his tongue in a wave, dripping into her ear like verbal honey, crashing against her insides, seeping down into her body and awakening the tiny butterflies inside of her soul, soaking her in nervous anticipation from head to toe. He made her feel like the most beautiful woman walking the planet when he simply touched her hands, and shot a smile a her from afar.

He was never forward or inappropriate. Always the perfect gentleman, he asked permission to kiss her, held her hand tightly in a crowd, waited for her when she asked him to. She daydreamed about him, imagining a life far beyond what she ever had with anyone. Theirs was something innocent, completely unfounded in this world, or the next. Like something out of a fairy tale.

She waited for him to turn out like everyone else, anticipating him to do the same things to her that were done by the others before him. She waited in vain for something to happen that would change the way she saw him. He was polite, and courteous to everyone around them. He treated everyone with respect... Do men like this really exist? Or is he just putting on a show? She wondered to herself every single moment she witnessed his kindness. Maybe it was their age difference, or where he was born that made the difference. Every day she waited for him to change into the typical man was another day he did not.

She fought off her feelings, afraid to give in to them for fear of heartbreak. She diminished her affections for him and his for her. She didn't want anyone to think that she loved him that way she did. She didn't want to seem more childish than she already was. Those who witnessed the two of them together confirmed what she knew already in her head and in her heart; that she loved him. And that he felt something for her too.

When she finally gave in, they lived a fairy tale romance day after day that they were together. She often surprised herself with how much she adored him. Seperated from each other constantly, they savored every second they had by spending it wrapped in each other. He flirted with her while he worked, flipping his hair into his eyes, using it as a shield so no one else noticed. He blew her tiny kisses, smirking after he would see her reaction to them.

She knew he loved her... even if he didn't say it. She could see it in his eyes. Those words need not be spoken... she just had to look deep into those icy eyes and see the love burning deep inside, warming the turquoise blue until they were nothing but pure crystalline pools. He spoke his native tongue, whispering beautiful words into her ears that she longed to understand. He sent electric shivers through her. They sat under the stars, listening to others speak of events around them of which they were completely oblivious. They walked together, arm in arm. Their love was pure, unblemished by the world that brought them together.

But like all beautiful things, their love was not everlasting. Like the spring flowers, the heat of summer burns their beautiful petals, and leaves nothing behind but the wilted stems; such is the same for them. Distance began to take it's toll on the untainted affection and forced her Scandinavian love into the arms of another. As much as she hated him for taking her heart, she couldn't be angry. Thousands of miles seperated them, a boundless ocean spanned between them, pushing them apart. He said things that eased her pain and others that just made the distance worse. He promised her, that if one day, they were still living a solitary life, and each still felt the same about the other, he would come to her and sweep her away like the knight in shining armor that she deserved. He promised her the world, if no one else had already given it to her.

She felt like she has no reason to breathe without him and he did his best to console. He told her that he wanted to see her again, he didn't want it to end in a bath of tears. She agreed to see him once more. He hugged her, pressing his strong body against hers. She wanted his scent of cologne, cigarettes, and vodka to encase her, cocoon her, wrap her in a comforting memory of the days when he refused to let her go. At the end of the embrace, he held her by the arms, kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. She smiled back, faking her happiness and walked away, tears streamed from her eyes at the thought of never holding him again, never feeling his lips on hers, never again seeing the love for her is his eyes.

Her heart sometimes still bleeds for him; her skin yearns for his touch every once in a while. But over the years, the longing has lessened, her heart healed, and she learned to love again. And even though she still loves him, she knows now what she knew then, this love was not meant to be, if it was, it wouldn't have been so hard to maintain. She has to be okay with her own reasoning, even though it will take some time to convince her of it's validity.

She sees him from time to time, not in person of course, and she smiles and thinks fondly back to the time when she was his girl. No matter what happens now... she will always have that year when her heart belonged to the Swedish rock star.

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